A Hobbit's Past
by phantomwriter2006
Summary: What if The Company wasn't the first dwarves Bilbo had met? Bilbo gets asked about why he was living alone, and Bilbo ends up telling of his past. features mentions of past Mpreg and Miscarriage. Please R&R.


_So this just came to me one night and I have been pondering on it for a while. I don't own the Hobbit; if I did I would be rich and very old. I hope you like it I have not written in this category before so bear with me. Please R&R. There are mentions of past Mpreg, Miscarriage, and death. If this is not your thing press that little arrow in your top left corner and go back. Hope you enjoy!_

'_Hobbitish'_

"Normal Speech"

'Thoughts'

Bilbo Baggins of the Shire watched as his dwarves relaxed in the sun outside of Beorn's house. He sat with Thorin, Balin, Gandalf, Gloin and Oin all smoking together watching the rest of the company go about their business. Ori was sitting on a rock sketching; Dori and Nori were arguing about something or other. Bilbo watched as Fili and Kili tackled Dwalin in their mock fight, smiling slightly, feeling a biting pang as he wondered if that was what his son would have been like had he lived.

Bilbo hadn't told any of the Dwarves, though he was sure that Gandalf knew, but he had been married once upon a time and had a child. He had married a Dwarf and had his child; oh it had been the biggest scandal in Hobbiton. He had spent many nights crying himself to sleep over the loss of his husband and child. Bilbo was startled out of his thoughts by a hand on his shoulder; he looked up and saw Gandalf looking at him with a knowing but sad look. "Bilbo lads are you alright? We have been trying to get your attention for the past few minutes." Gloin asked looking concerned, it was then that Bilbo noticed that he had tears in his eyes but they hadn't fallen yet. "I'm sorry Gloin my thoughts ran away with me," Bilbo said with a smile but it didn't reach his eyes. "What is it you needed?" He asked looking at Gloin but it was Balin who asked, "Well we were talking about the beginning of this venture and we had some questions about Hobbits." Balin said. Bilbo nodded for him to continue. "Now lad we don't want to pry or anything but we all agreed that while we walked through the Shire that we noticed that Hobbits seemed to live in large groups and have large families. Why is it that you, who seems to be about middle aged or at least close to it, lived alone in such a large house alone when the other Hobbit holes we passes were brimming with Hobbit families or were considerably smaller if there was only one Hobbit there?" Balin asked. Bilbo stilled and stiffened as Balin asked his question. 'They want to know why you are alone' he thought to himself. Gandalf who still had hold of his shoulder spoke in a language that none of the dwarves knew but Bilbo knew well. _"You should tell them, they will be able to help you grieve. Dwarf males may not be bearers but they know the pain of losing a child. It is one of the reasons they cherish their children so much, the pregnancies are hard on the women and about ¼ of them end in miscarriage. I can assure you that all of the older dwarves have experienced themselves or have a family member who has lost a child."_ Gandalf looked sad and regretful about his next words, "_I hate to cause you more pain and reopen old wounds but while we were in Rivendell Lord Elrond gave me this." _Gandalf reached into his pouch and pulled out a braid of golden hair and a wooden bead. "_Lord Elrond found your husband but he was too far gone to save, I was told his final words were of his love for you and he ordered Lord Elrond to cut his braid so that it may be returned to you. I am so sorry my dear boy." "No!"_ Bilbo cried and clutched the braid to his chest, tears falling from his face. He had known that his husband was dead but to have this proof was just like hearing the news all over again.

Bilbo hadn't noticed that his cry had brought the attention of the company to him and Gandalf; most were glaring at Gandalf as if he had wronged the Hobbit in some way. "What did you tell him Wizard?" Thorin growled feeling protective of the Hobbit that had saved his life numerous times during this quest. Gandalf sighed and held Bilbo as he cried out his pain again, "I only told him news that he has known but also been dreading for the past 20 years. It is his story to tell so you shall wait for him to tell it." Bilbo slowly pulled away from Gandalf to look at the company, his family. Gandalf was right they could help him. So still clutching the braid in his hand he began his story.

"My story comes in two parts; please don't interrupt until I am finished." The dwarves nodded and settled in. "I suppose that to start off with I should correct your observations, Hobbits live in smials, and it is normally one Hobbit family to a smial. Normal Hobbit families can range from 2-6 fauntlings; my mother was one of 13 and my father 4. (I don't really know I am pulling numbers from my head) My father built the smial you came to for my mother as a courting gift. When my mother had me they were planning to have several more children but there were some complications with my birth that led to my mother not being able to have any more children. When I was about 14 the rain didn't come in the spring causing the crops to fail, and the winter came earlier than usual and was colder and longer. By Shire reckoning that was the Fell Winter, that year the Brandywine froze over and the wolves came into the Shire. My father was the head of the Baggins family and as such had to make sure that all our relatives could lock their smials and had some food storage. He was out visiting his brother down the road, the wolves caught him before he could make it back inside safely. Mother was devastated, but kept going for me. It wasn't a week later that we ran out of food and we were heading to my mother's family in Tookland when we were attacked by Orcs. Mother tried to hold them off with her butcher's knife while I ran to safety, but I could only watch as the Orcs pulled her apart laughing. They came after me but then the Rangers came and killed the Orcs and Gandalf saved my life that night. I became the youngest head of the Baggins family in decades. I also inherited the smial my father built for my mother, though I would have relatives who would try to steal it from me." Bilbo growled the last part showing the dwarves exactly what he thought of that. Bilbo took some deep breaths to calm himself and continued on with his story.

"It would be years later that I would meet someone I wanted to share my life with. It was just my luck that my light, you would know them better as your One, happened to be a dwarf and a dwarf of Erebor no less." There were gasps from the young dwarves and wide eyes from the older at this revelation. "I first met my husband when I was 34 when he came crashing through my front gate running from Farmer Maggot and his dogs because he stole some vegetables." Bilbo smirked at the memory a faraway look in his eyes but the dwarves said nothing not wanting to interrupt. "I kicked him out later that night after I had fed him but he showed up again the next day. This became a cycle where he would show up for several meals and we would eat together and then I would kick him out and he would be back the next day. He finally asked me to court him 3 months after he crashed through my front gate. We courted for 2 years and we got to know each other well. I asked him of his family because it is tradition that you ask the father or older brother of the one you are courting for their hand in marriage. He told me that when Smaug came he watched as his older brother died in the first wave trying to defend the gates, and how his sister, father and grandfather all perished in the chaos that followed."

Bilbo took a drag from his pipe before he continued, "He spoke of how he moved from city to city, town to town trying to find work until he found himself in the Shire. Then he turned around an asked me to marry him." Bilbo chuckled wetly. "We were married in the spring I was 36 and we helped the Bounders and the Rangers protect the borders of the Shire from Orcs and the like." Bilbo sighed and unconsciously grabbed at the bead and braid around his neck. He remembered cutting his marriage braid how much it hurt to do so, he remembered the lesson's that Frerin had given him on dwarfish customs and traditions. "There is one thing you need to know about hobbits, we are children of Yavanna and as such hobbits were given the gift of barring. All hobbits can have children whether they are male or female." The dwarves were shocked and all of them stared at Bilbo with wide eyes they looked like they wanted to say something but kept their word in not saying anything until the story was over. Bilbo continued, "I was 37 when I found out I was pregnant, I was about 4 months along when Fen was asked to help with the boarders because a large group of Orcs had been spotted near the Shire." Bilbo started crying but continued with the story. "It was only supposed to last for a week at most but three weeks went by when one of the Bounders came to my smial and told me that my Fen, my light had been taken by the Orcs and they had chased them almost to Rivendell when the Elves killed the Orcs. Fen's body was not found." Bilbo was sobbing now but he was determined to finish the story. "I didn't want to live anymore, not without my light, but I would continue on for our child I still carried. But I woke up later that night to excruciating pain I called for the Healer but there was nothing he could do, I had lost my child. I lost my husband, my light and my child within the same month. What Gandalf gave me was the braid I put into Fen's hair the day of our wedding. The elves I guess found his body after the bounders left back for the Shire. I knew he was dead but I guess I still had that hope that he would come back to me." Bilbo finished his story and collapsed crying heartbroken for the loss of his husband and child.

Bilbo suddenly felt arms around him from three sides and looked through tear filled eyes to see that Fili, Kili and Ori were hugging him in comfort. Bilbo leaned into them and continued to sob his heart out. The rest of the Company looked at each other and they all came to the same conclusion, they would help their hobbit through his pain and become his family. Bilbo slowly calmed his sobs to sniffles but continued to hold onto the three youngest dwarves. Thorin opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out; he tried again but with the same result. It hurt to see one of his company in so much pain; he was finding that he cared for the hobbit, not as a lover but as a brother. He looked to Balin who seemed to know what he was thinking because he asked, "Lad what was the name of your husband so that we might honor him now and when we reclaim Erebor?" Bilbo wiped his tears as best he could and steadied himself so he could answer Balin, "Frerin, his name was Frerin." This caused several of the company to freeze. Bilbo felt Fili and Kili stiffen next to him and looked at them, he saw them staring at Thorin who looked like he just sucked on a particularly sour lemon. "What, do you know him?" Bilbo asked. No one spoke for a moment and then Balin asked quietly, "May I see the bead he carved for you lad, we have to be sure we are talking of the same dwarf." Bilbo nodded and released the necklace that held his braid and bead and showed both his bead and his husbands to Balin.

As Balin was examining the beads Gandalf turned and dug something long and covered in cloth out of his travel bag and handed it to Thorin stating, "This was given to me by Lord Elrond he told me of the attack on the Orcs 20 years ago and entrusted it to me to give to the rightful owner." Thorin unwrapped the cloth from the object and found inside a dwarven axe, the same one that his brother favored before the fall of Erebor. "This was my Brother's axe." Thorin stated staring at the axe trying to come to terms with everything he had been told. Bilbo was staring at the Axe as well and then at Thorin and Fili and Kili. "I should have known," Bilbo stated catching the attention of the company again. "I should have known that you were related to Frerin you both have the same presence though he hid it well. And Fili looks so similar to him I should have figured it out when he and Kili showed up on my doorstep in the same manner he did." Bilbo smiled at them sadly, "I just wish he was here to see that his family was alive." Bilbo looked like he was going to start crying again so Kili asked something that shocked Bilbo out of his tears, "So since you married Uncle Frerin does this mean we can call you Auntie Bilbo?" Fili and Ori sniggered and Bilbo heard a few suspicious coughs from other members of the company. Thorin smirked and said, "Now Kili don't go teasing your Auntie Bilbo" causing everyone to start laughing. "I see now that cheekiness is a family trait," Bilbo said with a long suffering sigh even though he was close to laughing as well. Bilbo felt warmed at the title knowing that it was given as an endearment, he now had a family.

The rest of the afternoon was spent telling stories of Frerin when he was younger and the mischief he got up to in the Shire. As Bilbo laughed from his seat between Thorin and Fili with Kili sitting on the ground in front of him, Thorin had braided his hair to show that he was part of the line of Durin and Fili and Kili added their own braids to their new Auntie's hair. Balin gave the braids and beads back to Bilbo commenting on their craftsmanship especially the wood one. Bilbo smiled and thanked him for the compliment, and Balin offered to attach the braids so that he would lose neither braid nor the beads. Bilbo agreed and soon he was given a necklace that held both braids and beads. Later on as Bilbo lay in his bedroll between Fili and Kili he swore he heard his husband's deep laugh and a high child's laugh on the wind and he knew that his husband was watching over him.


End file.
